What No One Tells You About Planning A Wedding
Planning a wedding can feel magical one minute and wildly overwhelming the next. Between Pinterest boards, family opinions, supplier decisions and budget spirals, it’s easy to lose sight of what actually matters. In a recent episode of the wedding podcast Totally Absolutely Engaged, real bride Bex, who also works as a wedding coordinator and she shared the honest truths no one really tells you before getting married. From wedding regrets to the smartest planning decisions she made, her advice is exactly the kind of insight engaged couples actually need.
Here are the biggest takeaways every bride and groom should know before the big day.
trust your Gut Early
One of the strongest themes throughout Bex’s experience was intuition. Whether it was a guest list drama, supplier decisions or pressure from family members, she said the moments she ignored her instincts were the things she regretted most later. If something feels wrong during planning, it usually is. That applies to:
Inviting people out of guilt
Overspending to please others
Choosing suppliers you’re unsure about
Changing your vision to suit someone else
Your wedding day should feel like you. the sooner you protect that, the easier planning becomes!
2. Wedding budgets never include everything
Like many couples, Bex initially focused on venue pricing without fully realising how quickly the extras add up. Food, drinks, entertainment, decor upgrades, transport , content creation , signage , late night food , beauty treatments, the little extras are often what push budgets over the edge! Her advice?
Use your budget as a guide not a rigid rule, but know where your priorities are from the beginning. For her the things worth spending on were:
Photography
Food
Trusted Suppliers
Guest experience
The things she regretted wasting money on? Last minute online purchasing and unnecessary extras she bought during late night scrolling!
3. Social media can make Wedding planning harder
Once you get engaged your entire algorithm changes. Suddenly your being shown:
Luxury wedding venues
Expensive dress
Celebrity style decor
Must ave wedding trends
Endless add ons your never even considered before let alone knew about!
But one of the most refreshing pieces of advice from Bex was this:
“If you dont normally do something, don’t suddenly do it just because you’re getting married.”
If you never wear nails, don’t force bridal nails
If you love doing your own makeup, you don’t have to book a glam squad
If a trend doesn’t feel like you, skip it.
The most memorable weddings always feels personal, not performative.
4. Your wedding Day will go faster than you think
Every married couples says it, and apparently it’s true. The wedding day flies by, even someone who works weddings professionally, said she was shocked by how quickly her own day disappeared. One of the smartest things couples can do is intentionally create small moments alone together throughout the day:
After the ceremony
During sunset photos
Before entering the wedding breakfast
In the car between venues
Those quiet pauses because some of the most emotional memories of the entire wedding.
5. Don’t underestimate the importance of photography
Bex’s biggest wedding regret was not fully trusting her instincts about her photographer, not because the photographer was bad, but because they weren’t the right fit for her wedding and venue. Her advice to engaged couples:
Choose someone who’s style genuinely matches your vision
Ask to see full galleries not just Insta highlights
If possible book photographers familiar with your venue
Prioritise natural moments over staged perfection
And most importantly:
Please don’t skip professional photography all together. Years from now your photos and videos become more valuable than almost anything else from the day.
6. Kids at weddings need a plan
One unexpectedly practical tip? If you’re inviting children, prepare the day properly. Weddings are long days for kids and bored children can quickly became overwhelmed children. Things that genuinely help:
Activity tables
Separate play space
Child friendly food
Designated family helpers
Evening childcare if possible
It makes the day easier not only for parents but for you as a couple too!
7. The best wedding feel personal
The details guests remember most are rarely the expensive ones. For Bex, some of the most meaningful parts of the day were the personal touches. Music choices that reflect their relationship, meaningful table names, moments shared privately together, incorporating their personalities into the experience.
The goal isn’t perfection… its’ creating a wedding that feel authentic to the two of you.
Final Thought for Engaged Couples
If there’s one lesson from real brides who have done it all, it’s this:
The best weddings aren’t the most expensive or trendiest, they are the ones where couples stay true to themselves. Weding planning can be noisy, everyone has opinions. social media adds pressure, budgets stretch, timelines move fast. But at the end of it all, the moments that matter most are usually the simples ones:
Locking eyes during the ceremony
Holding hands after saying “I do”
Realising you actually pulled it all of together!
And according to Bex
“Married life it much the same … just a little bit lovelier.”
Love from,
Totally Absolutely Engaged x